It’s a wonderful feeling knowing our wives respect and admire us, especially in spite of all the dumb things we do as husbands.
Here are two statements to say to your wife to make her love you even more than she already does!
Marriage researcher Shaunti Feldhahn has discovered several phrases a husband can say to his wife that will increase her respect and appreciation for him.
Husbands, these 2 phrases must be more than just words you say, they should reflect the genuine attitudes you have towards your wife.
Phrase #1: “Here, let me do that.” or "What can I do to help?"
“What can I do to help?” is a wonderful question because it shows that you recognize her need for a helping hand. Maybe it’s watching the kids while she cooks supper, or moving the laundry from the dryer.
Think of all the chores your wife does that you do not help with. Even better, think about anything you see her doing that makes you feel a tinge (or more) of guilt for not helping.
For me it is watching my wife fold the laundry. I can see her folding on the kitchen table as I sit in my recliner in the family room (which means she can see ME sitting in my recliner and she folds laundry)! I often feel guilt that I am not helping her – yet I continue to sit there.
This sentence can also be helpful by rewording it to say, “Here, let me HELP you with that.”
By stepping up and taking over a task, or at least helping your wife, she will feel a great sense of appreciation and gratitude towards you.
Phrase #2: “You’re right. I didn’t do that quite right. Show me again.”
We husbands tend to be a sensitive lot when it comes to our egos. When we try to do something that our wife KNOWS is not the best way (based on her experience of doing it repeatedly) she may critique our effort.
Too many husbands overreact when our well-meaning wives shows us the way she has discovered that works best. The mistake husbands make is to react to our wife's criticism as a direct attack on our ability and competency as a man. It is NEITHER.
Feeling attacked, we then think/say, “Nothing I do is good enough for you,” as we sullen up with hurt feelings. Our hurt ego then leads us to withdraw from trying to help our wife and go back to being an unhelpful blob sitting in our recliner. And, yes, I am unfortunately speaking from my own experience as a husband!
Husband – your wife is confused by your over-the-top reaction to her critique. She genuinely does not understand why you get so upset by her telling you she has discovered a better way to do something.
Here is the truth about being corrected. Remember These Words:
Your wife is NOT trying to criticize you; she’s merely taking you at your word that you want to help. Because you want to help she is showing you HOW you can best help.
Your wife’s intentions are good. Don’t misinterpret her intentions as criticism and rejection and get upset. Instead, say the magic, wife-respecting words:
“You’re right. I didn’t do that quite right. Show me again.”
Husbands, God has given us the highest standard imaginable for loving our wives. We must, therefore, make every effort to show genuine love to her.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV)
1 Peter 3:7
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. (NLT)
The Bottom Line
Husbands, we are to treat our wives with the highest degree of respect and love. Offering to help them with chores and tasks are small, but very important (to them) proofs of our respect and love.
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